Relationships, not boundaries

link to Combs and Freedman_Relationships,not boundaries

I’ve recently been struck by this article (see above link) and how much sense this approach makes. I love the obviousness of how the term ‘boundaries’ speaks of a polarity of in/ out, is a language of separation whereas working with the language of relationship is all about connection. So much warmer, more engaged.

Yes, clear, solid boundaries are, I think, crucial when starting out in 1:1 work but I would like to think that with experience and reflective wisdom one might move to be more flexible in considering how to ‘be’ with one’s clients. This is particularly the case when it comes to self-disclosure, how much, around what topics and so on. And yet to have flexibility in this requires one to be particularly acutely aware and present in all moments of working with others. To be attentive to why we might be drawn to sharing, checking in on our intention and motivation, having the ability to separate our ‘stuff’ from what’s happening in the relational space.